Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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D – Pages 1234567

Diatribe
(1) An extinct race
(2) Paint a clan. – Joseph Leff

Dictionary
(1) A book in which you can always find health, wealth, and happiness.
(2) A guide to the correct spelling of words, provided you know how to spell them in the first place.
(3) The one place where Friday comes before Thursday.

Diet
(1) A triumph of mind over platter.
(2) How to change your hair colour. – Joseph Leff

Diet Book Author:
Has the write of weigh. – Joseph Leff

Dimple
A pimple going the other way.

Diplomat
(1) One who thinks twice before saying nothing
(2) A person who can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans.

Doplomatic
An insect that graduated. – Joseph Leff

Dire
She does hair colouring. – Joseph Leff

Dirt
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Dirty Double Crosser
A person who sails across the Atlantic without washing.

Dirty Liar
A musical instrument that needs a good cleaning.

Disband
Break up a pop group

Diary:
Where you put your feat down. – Joseph Leff

Digesting:
Pass away while telling jokes. – Joseph Leff

Dinah Shore:
A restaurant’s beachfront. – Joseph Leff

Dinghy:
The sound of a ship’s bell. – Joseph Leff

Dingo:
Reduction of loud noises. – Joseph Leff

Dinner:
The person responsible for all that loud noise. – Joseph Leff

Dinosaur:
(1) An anger diner.
(2) Something seen while you’re eating. – Joseph Leff

Diode:
What happens to people who don’t die young. – Joseph Leff

Dioxen:
What you say before you kill a herd of buffalo-like cattle. – Joseph Leff

Dire:
Hairstylist who does colouring. – Joseph Leff

Disable:
Cain’s goal. – Joseph Leff

Disassembly:
Not dat legislature. – Joseph Leff

Disc Jockey
(1) Show business personality who lives on spins and needles.
(2) A chiropractor.
(3) Someone who is radioactive. – Joseph Leff

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D – Pages 1234567