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Funny definitions - the real meanings of words

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H - Pages 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

Harp
(1) A piano in the nude.
(2) A giant egg slicer.

Harpist:
A plucky musician. - Joseph Leff

Harry Potter:
Harass the ceramicist. - Joseph Leff

Harvest
What farmers wear to cut corn

Has a Heavy Course Load:
(1) An overworked caddy.
(2) A busy waitress. - Joseph Leff

Has a List:
Leans. - Joseph Leff

Has a Shot:
A syringe. - Joseph Leff

Hat rack
Torture instrument for headgear.

Hatch Back
Car boot full of eggs

Hatchet
What a hen does to an egg

Hatless
The strong man who carried the world on his shoulders

Hatred of Modern Art:
Can cause an art attack. - Joseph Leff

Haul Into Court:
Corridor connecting the lifts to the courtrooms. - Joseph Leff

Haunted wigwam
A creepy teepee.

Have an In:
Own a pub. - Joseph Leff

Have Heads in the Clouds:
Aviators. - Joseph Leff

Have No Rights:
(1) An empty wedding chapel.
(2) All that is left. - Joseph Leff

Hawaiian Garland:
Lei of the land. - Joseph Leff

Hawaiian Wedding Ceremony:
Getting Mauied. - Joseph Leff

Hay
High class grass

Haymow:
A greeting from Curly. - Joseph Leff

Hayrick:
Greeting for Eric. - Joseph Leff

Hazel:
Greeting for Zelda. - Joseph Leff

He Got What's Coming to Him:
An heir. - Joseph Leff

He Looks Forbidding:
An auctioneer. - Joseph Leff

Head hunter
The person to see if you have lost your head.

Head Off:
Purpose of a guillotine. - Joseph Leff

Head to Paris:
Tete. - Joseph Leff

Headaches:
Ill-gotten pains. - Joseph Leff

Headquarters:
A psychiatrist's office. - Joseph Leff

Headress:
Where that chap lives. - Joseph Leff

Heads:
The bloke does basic math. - Joseph Leff

Headset:
A group of ship's bathrooms. - Joseph Leff

Heal:
That chap is Alan. - Joseph Leff

Health:
Pertaining to Hades. - Joseph Leff

Heaped:
He impersonated. - Joseph Leff

Hear, Hear!:
Not there, there. - Joseph Leff

Hearing Aids:
Ears. - Joseph Leff

Hearing:
A groom's wedding band. - Joseph Leff

Hearken:
Listen to Kenneth. - Joseph Leff

Hearse
Not his. - Joseph Leff

Hearse:
Not hiss. - Joseph Leff

Heart Recipient:
A Valentine. - Joseph Leff

Heart Warming
Monster's cooking class

Heart:
Painting and sculpting for men only. - Joseph Leff

Heartless:
Describes Dorthy's friend, the Tin Man. - Joseph Leff

Heathen:
Warm up a chicken. - Joseph Leff

Hebrew:
(1) A male teabag.
(2) A bloke's ale. - Joseph Leff

Heck:
Where people who don't believe in Gosh go. - Joseph Leff

Hectic
A darn insect. - Joseph Leff

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H - Pages 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6


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