Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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Mischief
An Indian chief’s daughter.

Miser
A person who lives poor so he can die rich.

Misfired
A secretary who has been given the sack

Misprint
(1) Copy someone else’s homework incorrectly
(2) Queen of the Press.

Missing Link
A stolen sausage.

Mistletoe
Astronaut’s athelete’s foot

Mittens
What you get when a cat swallows a ball of wool

Mobile Home Salesman
A wheel-estate dealer.

Modern Art
Oodles of doodles.

Miscarriage:
How a retired hansom cab driver feels. – Joseph Leff

Miscount:
(1) Lose track of Dracula.  
(2) A countess. – Joseph Leff

Miscue:
She won the billiards movie pageant. – Joseph Leff

Misdemeanor:
A strict teacher. – Joseph Leff

Misdirection:
She won the road map beauty pageant. – Joseph Leff

Miser:
(2) Someone who earns money the hoard way. – Joseph Leff

Misprints:
A princess. – Joseph Leff

Mistaken:
She’s married now. – Joseph Leff

Mistakes:
Done by a female kleptomaniac. – Joseph Leff

Mix:
Belonging to Mr. Jagger. – Joseph Leff

Mixtures:
Didn’t mix mine. – Joseph Leff

Mizzen:
An object you can’t find. – Joseph Leff

Mizzenmast:
Arriving too late for the Sunday service. – Joseph Leff

Mocking:
Not your king. – Joseph Leff

Mockingbird:
A fowl flying faster than the speed of sound. – Joseph Leff

Mode:
(1) Not Larryed or Curlyed.  
(2) The grass was cut. – Joseph Leff

Moist:
A believer in Moe, but not necessarily in Larry and Curly. – Joseph Leff

Molasses
(1) Additional young girls.
(2) Rear ends of small, burrowing mammals. – Joseph Leff

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R
S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

M – Pages 123456 7