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Funny definitions - the real meanings of words

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Self-Centered Poem:
How Do I Love Me, Let Me Count The Ways. - Joseph Leff

Self-Control
Someone who can open a bag of peanuts and eat just one

Senile:
Why tourists visit Egypt. - Joseph Leff

Sentry:
100 years. - Joseph Leff

Serenity:
Peace of your mind. - Joseph Leff

Series of Errors:
A blunder storm. - Joseph Leff

Serious Discussion
A case of mind over chatter.

Serology:
The study of knighthood. - Joseph Leff

Serum
Note if any place is available. Example - Do you serum for me in the lifeboat?

Seven Seas:
C, C, C, C, C, C, C. - Joseph Leff

Shake Up:
The Arab chieftain is awake. - Joseph Leff

Shakedown:
Fluff pillows. - Joseph Leff

Shakespeare:
In movies, a Zulu warning. - Joseph Leff

Shallow:
(1) A politician who believes his own speeches.
(2) It will happen when you borrow. - Joseph Leff

Shamed:
Edward's impersonator. - Joseph Leff

Shampoo
A phoney smell

Shamrock
A phoney rock

Shape Up:
Concave. - Joseph Leff

Sharp Witted
Someone with a pointed head

She Always Spots Bargains:
A shopping scenter. - Joseph Leff

She Makes Deliveries:
A midwife. - Joseph Leff

She Wears a Wool Coat:
Ewe. - Joseph Leff

She Wears Very Little Clothing:
Barbie. - Joseph Leff

Sheepskin:
Related to sheep. - Joseph Leff

Sheet Lightning:
Illuminate bed linen. - Joseph Leff

Sheet Music
(1) What ghosts read to keep up with the latest tunes.
(2) Music composed in bed.
(3) Snoring. - Joseph Leff

Sheikdom:
Agitate Dominic. - Joseph Leff

Sheik-to-Sheik
A dance for Arabians.

Shepherd's Pies:
Clandestine agents taking care of sheep. - Joseph Leff

Shepherd's Theme Song:
I've Got Plenty of Mutton. - Joseph Leff

Shiftless:
(1) An unemployed factory worker.
(2) Move over, Lester. - Joseph Leff

Ship Has a Hawser:
Now it can tow the line. - Joseph Leff

Shipmate:
Transport your spouse. - Joseph Leff

Ship's Captain:
Sails manager. - Joseph Leff

Shipwrecks:
Send a Tyrannosaurus. - Joseph Leff

Shipyards:
Why a carpet manufacturer uses trucks. - Joseph Leff

Shire:
More bashful. - Joseph Leff

Shoemaker:
Anti-mosquito spray. - Joseph Leff

Shooting Star
A famous actor who uses his gun too often.

Shop Lifter
King Kong

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