Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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Telekinesis:
Mind over matter. – Joseph Leff

Telephone Booth
A yak-in-the-box.

Telephone Pole:
Call someone in Warsaw. – Joseph Leff

Television
Radio with eyestrain

Telling a Sniper to Practice:
Get thee to a gunnery. – Joseph Leff

Telltale:
The story of a Swiss bloke with a bow, arrow and an apple. Temple Feature:
A hairline. – Joseph Leff

Telly Savalas
Asking Savalas to turn on the BBC evening news. Joseph Leff

Tempest
An ill-tempered little nuisance

Ten Drachmas Per Hour:
What does a Grecian earn? – Joseph Leff

Tenacity:
Five pair per urban area. – Joseph Leff

Tenants:
Half a score of insects. – Joseph Leff

Tennis Forecaster:
Net prophet. – Joseph Leff

Tennis Mismatch:
A lob-sided affair. – Joseph Leff

Tense:
Canvas covers. – Joseph Leff

Tenth:
Canvath coverth for lithperth. – Joseph Leff

Tequila
To murder a female. Example – He never meant tequila

Tern:
One good bird deserves another. – Joseph Leff

Terra:
Horrible fear. – Joseph Leff

Terrarium
Where monsters work out.

Terrible Ruler:
Ivan. – Joseph Leff

Test Pilot
(1) Someone who makes paper aeroplanes out of his test paper
(2) Student who comes through exams with flying colors.

Testify:
To turn something into an exam. – Joseph Leff

Textile:
A lane in a university bookstore. – Joseph Leff

Thailand:
The world’s biggest seller of ascots and cravats. – Joseph Leff

Thaw:
(1) The Norse god of thunder.
(2) Tweety-Bird’s ache. – Joseph Leff

The Three Little Bears
A story about three nude midgets.

Theatrical Cast:
Worn by an actor with a broken wrist. Theatrical Role:
A bagel in a movie. Their Business is Picking Up:
Taxicabs. – Joseph Leff

Therein:
The long, narrow strap used to control a horse. – Joseph Leff

Thereon:
All aboard. – Joseph Leff

Theretofore:
Why a golfer is at a tee. – Joseph Leff

Therewith:
Dieters’ concern. – Joseph Leff

Thesis:
The female sibling. – Joseph Leff

They Come to Court:
Beaus. – Joseph Leff

They Have Their Pride:
Lions. – Joseph Leff

They Touch People’s Hearts:
Aortas. – Joseph Leff

Thick:
Sylvester the cat’s illness. – Joseph Leff

Thin:
Sylvester the cat’s vice. – Joseph Leff

Thinking:
A skinny monarch. – Joseph Leff

Third Degree
A diploma awarded to convicts.

Thirteen O’clock
Time to have your clock fixed.

This is One:
A pronoun. – Joseph Leff

Thomas Edison:
Tom, Edmund’s offspring. – Joseph Leff

Thorax:
A weapon used by a Norse god. – Joseph Leff

Thorny:
How you knee feelth after you thcrape it. – Joseph Leff

Thread:
Helps answer the question–sew what? – Joseph Leff

Three Legged Race
What monsters win on their own

Threefold:
The horse gave birth to triplets. – Joseph Leff

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R
S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

T – Pages 123456