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English class jokes and humor

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TEACHER: What does "coincidence" mean?
PUPIL: Funny, I was just going to ask you that.

TEACHER: Define "procrastination."
PUPIL: May I answer that question tomorrow?

TEACHER: How nice that you have your new glasses. Now you'll be able to read everything.
PUPIL: You mean, I don't have to come to school anymore?

TEACHER: Please explain the difference between sufficient and enough.
PUPIL: If my mother helps me to cake, I get sufficient. If I help myself, I get enough.

TEACHER: Your spelling is much better. Only five mistakes that time.
PUPIL: Thank you.
TEACHER: Now let's go on to the next word.

TEACHER: How many "i"s do you use to spell Mississippi?
PUPIL: None. I can do it blindfolded.

TEACHER: Mort, how do you spell Mississippi?
PUPIL: The river or the state?

TEACHER: Spell "rain."
PUPIL: R A N E.
TEACHER: That's the worst spell of rain we've had around here in a long time!

TEACHER: Carlos, how do you spell "imbecile?"
CARLOS: I M B U S L.
TEACHER: The dictionary spells it "I M B E C I L E."
CARLOS: Yes, teacher, but you asked me how I spelled it.

The teacher asked for sentences using the word "beans."
"My father grows beans," said a girl.
"My mother cooks beans," said a boy.
Then a third child spoke up, "We're all human beans," he said.

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