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TEACHER: Young woman, do you know what time we start school here in the morning?
PUPIL: No, teacher, I don’t. I’ve never been here for that.

TEACHER: Young man, you’ve been late for school every day this week.
PUPIL: No, teacher, I was only late for school four days this week. The other day I
was absent.

TEACHER: Do you have any idea how many times you’ve been late for school this year?
PUPIL: Well, teacher, I don’t think it’s been more than once a day.

TEACHER: Young man, you’ve been late for school five days this week. Does that make you happy?
PUPIL: Sure does. That means it’s Friday.

TEACHER: Young lady, do you know what the word “tardy” means?
PUPIL: No, teacher, I don’t. You must have covered that before I got here.

TEACHER: Young man, how would you like it if I were ten minutes late for school every morning like you are?
PUPIL: It would be great. We could ride to school together.

TEACHER: You’ve been ten minutes late for school every day this year and all you do is come up with stupid excuses.
PUPIL: I know. If I could be 15 minutes late, that would give me enough time to come up with better excuses.

One kid in our class is always late for school.
When we studied the Hundred Years War, he only showed up for the last three years.

TEACHER: Do you have a good excuse for being absent yesterday?
PUPIL: If I had a good excuse for being absent, I’d save it and use it for tomorrow.

TEACHER: You were absent yesterday and I want a note from your doctor.
PUPIL: All right, I’ll take off from school tomorrow and get one for you.