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Did you hear the good news? The Principal gave us the day off from school tomorrow.
Doggone it, and I was planning to skip school tomorrow.

TEACHER: Because of your absences you’ve missed three tests this week.
PUPIL: No, I may not have taken the tests, but I didn’t miss them one bit.

TEACHER: Why are you so grouchy today?
PUPIL: I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
TEACHER: And that makes you grouchy?
PUPIL: Sure it does. My bed is next to the wall.

What does it take for your Mom to get you out of bed in the morning?
About 45 minutes.

My father has a great way of getting me out of bed in the morning.
I sleep with the two dogs in my bed and when it’s time for me to get up, he throws the cat in.

I like to sleep. That not only explains why I’m late to school,
but also my grades.

I’m always prompt at getting out of bed in the morning.
I figure the sooner I get to school, the sooner I can get back to sleep.

This kid in our class is never on time for anything.
He was four hours late catching the 24hour virus.

We have a kid in our school who has never been on time for anything.
He was two years old when he was born.

I have another buddy who is late for everything.
It takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.