First days at school jokes and humor

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“Teacher, may I leave the room?”
“Well, you certainly can’t take it with you.”

TEACHER: Fred, go to the map and find North America.
FRED: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Fred!

TEACHER: Do you know “London Bridge Is Falling Down?”
PUPIL: No, but I hope no one gets hurt.

SON: I won a prize in kindergarten today. The teacher asked me how many legs a hippopotamus had. I said three.
FATHER: Three? How on earth did you win the prize?
SON: I came the closest.

Fred came into his kindergarten class with a squirming worm. “What are you doing with that disgusting worm?” asked his teacher.
“We were playing outside,” said Fred, “and I thought I’d show him my kindergarten.”

With tears in his eyes, the little boy told his kindergarten teacher that only one pair of boots was left in the classroom and they weren’t his. The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” she asked. “I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.”

TEACHER: Goodness, Fred, haven’t you finished washing that blackboard yet? You’ve been at it for an hour.
FRED: I know, but the more I wash it, the blacker it gets.

WATSON: What school did you go to, Holmes?
SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson!

It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him into the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused.
Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. “Now,” he said, “are there any questions?”
One girl stood up timidly. “Please, sir,” she asked, “may we have our teacher back?”

Mrs. Jones brought her son Elmer to register at school. However, Elmer was only five, and the required age was six.
“I think,” said Mrs. Jones to the principal, “that he can pass the six year old test.”
“We’ll see,” replied the principal. “Elmer, say the first thing that comes to your mind.”
“Do you want logically connected sentences,” said Elmer, “or purely irrelevant words?”