First days at school jokes and humor

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My grandparents buy me so many school supplies for the first day of school that I have to take the first two weeks off just to sharpen pencils.

I buy pencils with an eraser at both ends. That’s so I can make sure I don’t make the same mistake twice.

PUPIL: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil.
TEACHER: How can you come to school without a pencil?
PUPIL: I took the bus.

PUPIL: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil.
TEACHER: I want you to write 100 times, “I will come to school prepared.”
PUPIL: With what?

MOTHER: Now those are the kinds of clothes I wish I could have worn when I was in school.
DAUGHTER: They were probably in style back then.

MOTHER: There now, young man, I think that outfit is absolutely perfect.
SON: Mom, it’s the first day of school; not a Pee Wee Herman look alike contest.

MOTHER: I want to help you pick out your new school outfits because I want you to buy clothes that last.
SON: Mom, the clothes you pick out will last forever because I’m never going to wear them.

MOTHER: Now these new clothes are expensive. I don’t want you coming home from school that first week with a hole in the knee.
SON: Okay, Mom, where would you like the hole?

I don’t know how my Mom does it, but she even buys shoelaces that are out of style.

MOTHER: What’s wrong with the new clothes I bought you? They’re indestructible.
SON: So is a Sherman tank, Mom, but I wouldn’t wear it to school.