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PUPIL (at concert): What is the book the orchestra leader is looking at?
TEACHER: That’s the score.
PUPIL: Really? Who’s winning?

Why did Fred bring a ladder to the assembly program?
The music teacher asked him to sing higher.

PUPIL (after playing the piano): I’ve never had a lesson in my life and I can prove it.
MUSIC TEACHER: Never mind, you just did.

MUSIC TEACHER: Why did you put that vegetable on the piano?
PUPIL: You told me my playing would improve if I had a beet (beat)!

BAND STUDENT: Our high school band played Beethoven yesterday.
ATHLETE: Who won?

The class laughed when I sat down at the piano.
There was no stool.

The class laughed when I sat down at the piano with my hands tied behind my back.
They didn’t know I played by ear.

How do you clean a tuba?
With a tuba toothpaste!

“Look at how gracefully that girl eats her corn on the cob,” said Mrs. Jones to her son, Harry, at the restaurant.
“Of course,” Harry replied, “she plays the flute in the school band.”

You’re a natural musician. Your tongue is sharp and your head is flat.