School poems, poetry and limericks

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Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses,
And all the king’s men,
Said, `Scrambled eggs for dinner again!’

There was a headmaster from Quebec,
Who wrapped both his legs round his neck,
But then he forgot,
How to untie the knot,
And now he’s an absolute wreck.

There was a teacher from Niger,
Who went for a ride on a tiger.
Not long after that,
The tiger got fat,
With the lady from Niger inside her.

There was a young teacher from Harrow,
Whose nose was too long and too narrow,
It gave so much trouble,
That he bent it up double,
And wheeled it around school in a barrow.

There was an old teacher called Leach,
Who took the whole class to the beach.
It said on a sign,
`Watch out for the mine ‘
The last thing they heard was his screech.

There was a teacher called McGees,
Who thought he was going to sneeze. .
The class said, `Atchoo!’
McGees caught the flu,
And blew the class into the trees!

There once was a teacher from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour,
Her nose was a flower,
And her hair was a bunch of weeds.

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His beak holds more, Than his belly can.

I eat peas with honey,
I’ve done it all my life,
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.

There was a young teacher called Emma,
Who was seized with a terrible tremor.
She swallowed a spider.
Which wriggled inside her,
And left Emma in an awful dilemma.

There was an old teacher called Green,
Who invented a caning machine.
On the ninety ninth stroke,
The rotten thing broke,
And hit poor Green on the beam!