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What did one wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why was the fly dancing on the top of the Coke bottle?
Because it said 'Twist to open.'
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Who's bigger, Mr Bigger or baby Bigger?
Baby Bigger 'cos he's a little bigger.
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What should you do if your dog swallows your dictionary?
Take the words right out of his mouth?
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What time was it when Sir Lancelot looked at his bellybutton?
The middle of the knight.
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What can a bottle of soda hold that a million men can't?
A bubble.
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What sort of car has your dad got?
I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T.
Really? Ours only starts with petrol.
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What do you mean by telling everyone I'm an idiot?
Sorry. I didn't know it was meant to be a secret.
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CAREERS OFFICER: And have you a career in mind?
PUPIL: Well, I think I'd make a good book keeper.
CAREERS OFFICER: Why's that?
PUPIL: I've sometimes kept library books for years and years.
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Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence?
A convict.
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