School puns

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What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.

Why was the fly dancing on the top of the Coke bottle?
Because it said ‘Twist to open.’

Who’s bigger, Mr Bigger or baby Bigger?
Baby Bigger ‘cos he’s a little bigger.

What should you do if your dog swallows your dictionary?
Take the words right out of his mouth?

What time was it when Sir Lancelot looked at his bellybutton?
The middle of the knight.

What can a bottle of soda hold that a million men can’t?
A bubble.

What sort of car has your dad got? I can’t remember the name. I think it starts with T.
Really? Ours only starts with petrol.

What do you mean by telling everyone I’m an idiot?
Sorry. I didn’t know it was meant to be a secret.

CAREERS OFFICER: And have you a career in mind? PUPIL: Well, I think I’d make a good book keeper.
PUPIL: I’ve sometimes kept library books for years and years.

Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence?
A convict.