Count Dracula – School Report

Count Dracula


Name of Pupil: DRACULA, COUNT

Subject: Attendance and punctuality

Dracula’s punctuality is appalling. What is the matter with the boy; can’t he get up in the morning? To look at him, you would think he had been out all night.

I’m sure his health is suffering. He must get up so late he can’t possibly have had time for a bite to eat.

Yesterday he missed the annual cricket match against our deadly rivals, Frankenstein’s Middle School, a match we need not have lost had it not been for his absence. It made my blood boil, I can tell you. What chance have you got without your opening bat?

I really wonder whether Dracula’s heart is in his school work. Does he not realise what is at stake? He makes me very cross. Unless he starts to put in a lot of effort he will end up without any qualifications at all; what a sucker he’ll look then.

No, things must improve immediately. Every member of staff is fed up to the back teeth with Dracula’s lateness. It used to be regarded as just a pain in the neck, but no longer. It’s now a matter of grave concern.

I want to see him change: overnight.

Isle Brunhilde Sauerkraut Form Mistress