Dalek – School Report


TRAINING UNIT Assembly Lab 1 8b

Name of Pupil: DALEK No ACK 231 Q89765449Z

Age: 6 minutes

This is to certify that ACK 231 Q89765449Z (hereinafter referred to as ‘ACK’) has completed a course of extermination training and achieved a satisfactory standard.

Assessments obtained In individual elements of the course were as follows:

MOVEMENT: Generally smooth, but suffered from the odd squeak. Could have sent ACK back, but instead sent ACK to the Quack. Problem resolved by a dose of caster oil. Congratulated doctor who said, ‘Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way.’

HERD ROTATION: Excellent. ACK has the knack.

RECOGNISING THE ENEMY: Problems at first, with two fellow Daleks, ZAK and MAC, mistakenly subjected to an ACK attack. Difficulty overcome by scientific means. Gave ACK a whack on the back. ACK can now spot humanoids, particularly humanoids daft enough to wear bright clothes and long multi-coloured scarves, without any need to ask `Who?’

TAKING ORDERS* 3: Very good. Responds immediately and without question; Le.
no ACK yak back.

SPEECH: Spoke first word after 2.41 seconds. It was, of course, ‘Exterminate!’ Anything else and it would have been the sack for ACK

EXTERMINATION: Able to exterminate the enemy from behind, from the side and from the front. A good all rounder, in other words. Did very well in all gun techniques; laser gun, stun gun, bubble gun (good for stick ups) but especially ack ack gun.

ACK 231 0 89765449Z shows great promise. With normal progress ACK should reach the level expected of a TV performer within 40 million years.

Dalek RR 00000000002 R
Senior Destructor Instructor