Inter-Galactic Middle School
Name of Pupil: VADER, Darth
Subject: Social skills
Darth is an enthusiastic pupil, but he must try to get on better with other
On a number of occasions this term I have had to speak severely to him about
his intolerant and unruly behaviour.
The incident concerning poor Lemuel Moon was a case in point. Admittedly the
boy is rather slow, which is presumably why the other boys call him The Fool Moon
but, nevertheless, Darth could have had more patience with him during their joint
classwork exercise to draw up a plan for the complete annihilation of the planet
For Darth to cleave poor Moon in two with his junior laserbeam sword because
he hadn't managed to calculate how many light years it would take to reach Trafalgar
Square was, in my opinion, something of an overreaction.
Darth also responds poorly to constructive criticism. When I said to him, at
the time of the Lemuel Moon Incident, 'Two wrongs do not make a right,' his reply
left much to be desired. Not only did he give me a very black look, he pointed
at the two halves of the unfortunate Moon and said, 'No Sir, they make a right
and a left!' I thought that reply was quite uncalled for, and told Darth so.
I still find it hard to forgive him for his petulant reaction. Slicing off
my ear was extremely foolish. Had he been In any other class he would most certainly
have had a slap on the back of his leg for that.
However, I remain convinced that his naughty behaviour is simply a mask, and
that beneath it there's a friendly little fellow trying to get out. Perhaps he
needs a regular playmate? A new boy, Luke Skywalker, joins us next term. Perhaps
they will get on well together.
Obi One Kinobi Two