Name of Pupil: DAN, Desperate Age: 15
Dear Mr and Mrs Dan,
As we all know, Desperate is not a bright boy (if boy is the right word for
someone who's been shaving since he was six). He has spent so long at the bottom
of the class the other children call him 'Shipwreck.'
It therefore gives me great pleasure to write and tell you that Desperate has
finally managed to gone top of the class in a General Knowledge test!
I know how delighted you must be at this news of his success, so I'm enclosing
Desperate's completed exam paper.
This was a tremendous performance, deserving of some reward. I'd give him a
tenth helping of cow pie if I were you.
Q. What is the term used by dectectives where a crook has gotten clean away
with a burglary without leaving any fingerprints?
A. Haven't got a clue
Q. What word would we use to describe a student who has passed an exam?
Q. What does an encore mean?
A. And again
Q. Where does milk come from?
A. And anudder one
Q. What does SOS mean?
Q. What would a mountaineer say when the weather conditions prevented him
from seeing the top of the mountain?
A. Haven't got the foggiest
Q. What did the Dalek say when the other Dalek asked where the Tardis had
A. Who knows