Dick Grayson – School Report

Dick Grayson

GOTHAM CITY Secondary School

Name of Pupil: GRAYSON, Dick

Age: 15

Attn. Mr Bruce Wayne, Guardian

Dear Mr Wayne,

I am writing to you to express my concern over the eccentric behaviour of your youthful ward, Dick Grayson.

He seems to be terribly excitable. Hardly a day goes by without my hearing about some new and curious thing he has said or done. For example:

In Drama, he had to write an essay on the opening scene in Hamlet in which the three witches are huddled around their cauldron on a bleak Scottish moor. What did he hand in? Two words: ‘Shivering Shakespeare!’

He gave the school dentist a terrible shock when she examined him after he complained of a sore mouth. To have your patient leap out of the chair screaming ‘Great Galloping Gumboils!’ is not funny.

It is also most disconcerting for the dinner ladies, when expecting a simple choice from the menu, to be met by a wild eyed youth who slams a fist into the palm of his hand and screams things like ‘Holy Hamburgers’, or ‘Fantasmagorical French Fries’ at the top of his voice.

Until now I have overlooked these incidents, preferring to put them down to youthful exuberance. I have even turned a blind eye to Dick’s strange desire to wear motorcycling gauntlets in class. But what happened today I cannot ignore.

Mr Wayne, I will not have your ward walking the hallowed corridors of Gotham City Secondary School with his underpants on over his trousers.

Yours sincerely,