Joseph – School Report

Joseph

CANAAN

SCHOOL FOR BOYS

Name of Pupil: JOSEPH, son of Jacob

Age: 17

Dear Jacob,

For the past few days your son, Joseph, has been attending school wearing a coat of many colours.

I have to remind you that this is expressly forbidden. The rule concerning school uniform is quite clear. All pupils shall wear a blazer in the school colours, khaki with olive green trim, available from the official stockist, Canaan Clothing.

Your adherence to this rule would be greatly appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Jean Levi

Head Mistress

Report 2

Dear Jacob,

May I say how sorry I was to hear that your son Joseph had been eaten by wolves and his coat of many colours torn to shreds.

I am pleased to see that your eleven other sons are taking the loss of Joseph well, and that they are dressed in regulation school uniform.

Perhaps if Joseph had been similarly dressed he would still be with us today. To my certain knowledge, wolves have never torn to shreds any pupil wearing a blazer of khaki with olive green trim.

I can only imagine that Joseph’s outfit made the wolves see red. And yellow, and blue…

Yours sincerely,

Jean Levi
Head Mistress

Report 3

Dear Jacob,

My heartiest congratulations on the return of your beloved son, Joseph!

To think that he’d been living in Egypt all the time!

I congratulate you, also, on your decision to send him back to Canaan School to continue his interrupted education. We are delighted to have him with us once again, and to hear his tales about life in Egypt.

Clearly the Pharaoh treated him well! Nobody will kick sand in his face again! Joseph positively drips with gold, does he not? Gold cloak, gold bangles, golden sandals … truly magnificent!

However, I must remind you that the rule concerning school uniform is quite clear. All pupils shall wear a blazer in the school colours, khaki with olive green trim, still available from the official stockist (Canaan Clothing) or most major department stores.

Your adherence to this rule would be greatly appreciated.

Yours sincerely,

Jean Levi
Head Mistress