SCHOOL FOR SCARECROWS
Name of Pupil: GUMMIDGE, Worzel
Worzel is driving me up the pole, mainly because he's never up his.
He really must remember that he is a trainee scarecrow. If he doesn't work
hard he'll find himself pulled to bits and his straws sold. I'm sure he wouldn't
fancy finishing his days in a thousand milkshakes. That would be a very sticky
It's not as if he's stupid. He's not ...well, at least not when his various
heads are working properly. It's just that they seem to be stuffed with the wrong
Worzel's history head, for instance. It keeps on saying things like, 'History
isn't what it was, you know,' and 'History is out of date.' His geography head
is a little bit better, but saying things like 'Geography is where it's at, man,'
doesn't add much to class discussion.
The worst time is when he's got his witty head on. Then we get comments like,
'Chemistry stinks' and 'Geometry is for squares.' He was wearing it the other
day in the Maths lesson when I told him he should ask if he got stuck, not just
sit there. And what was his reply? 'I bet Pythagoras used to suck his theorem.'
No, it's not good enough. Worzel has got to try much harder if he wants to