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Why did Cinderella get thrown out of the rounders team?
Because she kept running away from the ball.

GAMES TEACHER: Why didn’t you do the long jump?
PUPILS: Because I’m short sighted, sir.

TEACHER: Why are you swimming on your back?
PUPIL: Because I’ve just had lunch and it’s dangerous to swim on a full stomach.

Joe came home from school looking really excited. `Mum, I think I’m going to be in the school athletics team,’ she said.

`That’s good,’ replied her mother. ‘Why?’

`Because today the teacher said that if I carry on the way I’m going, I’ll be for the high jump.’

Why is the football pitch always wet?
Because the players are always dribbling.

Can a match box?
No, but a tin can.

What’s the difference between a nail and a bad boxer?
One is knocked in and the other is knocked out.

A schoolboy at the swimming baths climbed to the very top diving board. He lifted his arms and was just about to dive off when the teacher came running up, shouting, `Don’t dive there’s no water in the pool!’
`That’s OK, sir,’ said the boy. `I can’t swim!’

The PE teacher was telling the class how important it was to exercise regularly. `Look at me, for example,’ he said. `I exercise every day and I can lift three hundred pounds.’
`That’s nothing, sir,’ shouted a boy at the back. `I know a woman who can lift five hundred pounds.’
Good gracious, who’s that?’ gasped the teacher.
`A cashier at the bank, sir!’

Are you going to watch the school football match this afternoon?
No, it’s a waste of time. I can tell you the score before the game starts.
Can you? What is it then?
Nil nil.