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TEACHER: Now, if I gave you three rabbits, then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many would you have?
PUPIL: Nine, sir.
TEACHER: Nine?
PUPIL: Yes, sir. I’ve got one already!

TEACHER: Why are you late?
PUPIL: Please, sir, the sign outside the school says, `GO SLOW, CHILDREN!’

TEACHER: Why are you late?
PUPIL: I must have over washed, sir.

PUPIL: I’m sorry I’m late, sir. I was having a dream about football.
TEACHER: How did that make you late for school?
PUPIL: They played extra time.

TEACHER: You’re late again!
PUPIL: Sorry, sir, I overslept.
TEACHER: You mean you sleep at home as well as here?

TEACHER (to noisy class): Every time I open my mouth, some fool speaks.

Teacher, teacher, why do you call me `Pilgrim’?
Because you’re making a little progress. .

TEACHER: Today I’m going to instruct you on Mount Everest.
Pupil: Will we be back for lunch, sir?

TEACHER: Fiona, give me a sentence containing the word `gruesome’.
FIONA: My dad didn’t shave for a week and grew some whiskers.