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A teacher who looks like a bear,
Fell soundly asleep in his chair.
He woke with loud screaming,
Because he was dreaming,
His pupils had shaved off his hair.
Our school bus crashed ‘cos the driver
was upstairs collecting the fares.
There was a headmaster in Spain,
Who misguidedly prayed for rain.
The resultant showers,
Lasted for hours,
And washed his school down the drain.
A head by the name of Wally,
Had a girlfriend called Pretty Polly.
But he’d never kiss,
The pretty young miss,
‘Cos Wally preferred a lolly.
There was a teacher called Mohammed Ben Tonki,
Who went for a walk on a donkey.
Then it suddenly spoke,
This miraculous moke,
And said `Get off and walk, I feel wonky!’
Hickory, Dickory, Dock,
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
But the other one escaped with only minor injuries.
There’s a peanut sitting on the railway track,
His heart is all aflutter,
The train comes roaring round the bend,
Toot! Toot! Peanut butter!
Teacher on the railway, picking up stones,
Along came a train and broke Teacher’s bones.
`Hey,’ said Teacher. `That’s not fair!’`
Tough!’ said the driver. `I don’t care’
A rabbit raced a tortoise,
‘You know the tortoise won,
And Mr Rabbit came in late,
A little hot cross bun!
During dinner at the Ritz,
My teacher had forty fits.
And what made my sorrow greater still,
I was left to pay the bill!
There was a young teacher called Fisher,
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure.
When a seal, with a grin,
Pulled the teacher right in,
And now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher.
It’s a dog’s delight,
To bark and bite,
And little birds to sing.
And if you sit,
On a red hat brick,
It’s the sign of an early spring.