TEACHER: Who is your favorite author?
PUPIL: George Washington. TEACHER: But George Washington never wrote any books.
PUPIL: You got it.
LIBRARIAN: Why don't you take home a Dr. Seuss?
PUPIL: I didn't know he made house calls.
TEACHER: How many books did you finish over the summer?
PUPIL: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.
TEACHER: How many books have you read in your lifetime?
PUPIL: I don't know. I'm not dead yet.
TEACHER: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher
PUPIL: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like
TEACHER: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War?
PUPIL: It doesn't tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing.
My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.
I couldn't find the words to thank him.
If you don't know what the word "dictionary" means,
where would you look it up?
TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?
PUPIL: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.
TEACHER: Where is South America?
PUPIL: I don't know. TEACHER: Where is Greenland?
PUPIL: I don't know. TEACHER: Where is Bulgaria?
PUPIL: I don't know. TEACHER: Look them up in your textbook.
PUPIL: I don't know where that is, either.