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Sports and PE jokes and humor

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Why couldn't the car play football?
Because it only had one boot.

Why did the boy come first in the 100 metre sprint?
He had athlete's foot.

PUPIL: Mum, can I have a new pair of plimsolls for gym, please?
MUM: Why can't Jim buy his own?

What does PT stand for?
Physical Torture.

If there's a referee in football and an umpire in tennis, what do you have in bowls?
Goldfish.

Did you hear about the two flies playing football in a saucer?
They were practising for the cup.

What's an insect's favourite game?
Cricket.

Why were the members of the cricket team given lighters?
Because they kept losing their matches.

How do you service your pogo stick?
Give it a spring clean.

Two boys were having a boxing match in the school hall. One of the boys was swinging punches like fury but not landing any.

At the end of the round he asked the games master how he was doing.

`Not very well,' said the games master. `But carry on with what you're doing he might catch a cold from the draughts!'

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