Sports and PE jokes and humor

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The sports teacher was giving the class their very first cricket lesson. `Now, who can tell me how to hold a bat?’ he asked.
`By the wings, sir,’ replied Andy.

Did you hear about the football team that was so bad the crowd changes were announced to the team?

Why did the American football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.

If it takes a football team forty five minutes to eat a ham, how long will it take three football teams to eat half a ham?
It depends on whether they’re professional or ‘am eaters

TEACHER: Why are you late?
PUPIL: Sorry, sir, I was practising my football.
TEACHER: Perhaps you ought to practise headball, it might affect your brain more than my lessons do!

Our school team has got two Chinese footballers.
Chinese footballers?
Yes. We Won Once and How Long Since.

TEACHER: Now we’re all going to play squash. Which side would you like to be on?
PUPIL: The orange side, please.

He drives us up the wall,
He puts us through the hoop,
We never have a ball,
To that he wouldn’t stoop.
He really makes us crawl,
To him we bend our knee,
And with our arms outstretched,
We hail our teacher of PE.