Popeye- School Report



Name of Pupil: POPEYE

Age: 6

Dear Admiral Popeye,

I am sorry to tell you that your son has been caught fighting in the playground yet again. And, once again, poor little Bluto was the victim, with your son being egged on by that big lump Olive Oyl.

Frankly, Admiral, your son is a bad influence. How many other 6 year olds have tattoos on their arms and smoke a pipe? No wonder he has such a croaky voice.

I have come to the conclusion that your son’s aggressive behaviour was something to do with his diet. He’s not eating the right sort of food. I ask you,. spinach sandwiches every day: It can’t be good for him. Yes, I know you’ll say he gets two kilos of cream buns in his sandwich crate as well, but he doesn’t touch those. They’re all gobbled up by the already overweight Olive Oyl.

My strategy from now on is going to be simple. I’m going to give Popeye’s spinach sandwiches and cream buns to weedy little Bluto. This should make all the difference. Popeye should stop being so aggressive and Olive Oyl get a lot thinner.

Whether or not there’ll be any change in timid little Bluto remains to be seen.

Yours sincerely,

Arthur J. Swee’pea
Year Counsellor