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Funny school reports from famous people

Goliath

LATH PLAY SCHOOL PHILISTINE

Name of Pupil: GOLIATH

Age: 4

Dear Mrs G.,

This is the customary letter that I write to parents of new pupils after they've been here at playschool for a month. I always write it after one month, even when it seems as though it's been like a year.

Goliath is a big boy for his age, isn't he? At .3 cubits and a span, he is twice as tall as most of the other little boys and girls we have here at play school. In fact he's taller than most of the helpers too.

Unfortunately, Goliath has started to use his size to get his own way. This morning, he gave little Bathsheba Benjamin a jolly hard push, just because she was ahead of him in the queue for mid-morning orange juice. At least, I think it was Bathsheba he pushed. The hole in the playschool wall was definitely shaped like her.

Goliath also got in the most frightful temper when he wasn't allowed to play in the Wendy House. With a single blow of his hand he smashed the thing to pulp. I was not pleased. Neither was Wendy, who was sitting inside at the time.

I do hope Goliath isn't becoming a bully. As he is continually being told, a nice boy doesn't pick on children smaller than himself. Perhaps he will grow out of it.

Anyway, he's not our only problem child. A little boy named David started last week, and he's an absolute terror. At least Goliath doesn't throw stones.

Yours sincerely,

April Showers
Play Group Leader

 

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