Little Red Riding Hood – School Report

Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time School for Girls

Name of Pupil: HOOD, Red Riding

Age: 6

Red Riding is a dreadful child, almost as bad as her thieving brother, Robin.

She is so insulting! Poor Esther Ranter was reduced to tears the other day when Red bellowed across the classroom at her, ‘What big teeth you’ve got!’

And then there was little Kylie Minnow. Being told, ‘What a big mouth you’ve got!’ was bad enough, but following up with ‘It must be some kind of record!’ was just awful. It sent the poor girl into a flat spin.

Jason Bongovan got much the same treatment. ‘What funny clothes you’re wearing!’ Red Riding cackled at him yesterday. ‘Where d’you get ’em; from the neighbours?’

Thankfully she’s not staying for lunch today. Red Riding showed me a big basket of groceries and said she was going to take them to her Grandma.

Fat chance of that. Knowing her, she’s probably in the forest wolfing them herself.