English class jokes and humor

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TEACHER: Wade, give me an example of a double negative.
WADE: I don’t know none.
TEACHER: Excellent!

PUPIL: I ain’t going.
TEACHER: That is not correct. Listen: I am not going. We are not going. You are not going. They are not going. Now do you understand?
PUPIL: Sure, teacher. Nobody ain’t going.

TEACHER (to the class): Can anyone tell me the imperative of the verb “to go?” (No reply.)
TEACHER: Go, class, go!
CLASS: Thanks! See you tomorrow!

How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both hand out sentences.

TEACHER: What are you doing under your desk?
PUPIL: Didn’t you tell us to read Dr. Jekyll and Hyde (hide)?

What is an autobiography?
A car’s life story.

“Please hush,” said the librarian to some noisy children. “The people around you can’t read.”
“Really?” asked one little girl. “Then why are they here?”

Fred took a book from the library because the cover read “How to Hug.”
It turned out to be Volume VII of an encyclopedia.

Did you hear about the riot in the library?
No, what happened?
Someone found “dynamite” in the dictionary.

TEACHER: Will you two please stop passing notes!
PUPIL: We’re not passing notes. We’re playing cards.