Page 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8
|
TEACHER: Wade, give me an example of a double negative.
WADE: I don’t know none.
TEACHER: Excellent!
|
PUPIL: I ain’t going.
TEACHER: That is not correct. Listen: I am not going. We are not going. You are not going. They are not going. Now do you understand?
PUPIL: Sure, teacher. Nobody ain’t going.
|
TEACHER (to the class): Can anyone tell me the imperative of the verb “to go?” (No reply.)
TEACHER: Go, class, go!
CLASS: Thanks! See you tomorrow!
|
How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both hand out sentences.
|
TEACHER: What are you doing under your desk?
PUPIL: Didn’t you tell us to read Dr. Jekyll and Hyde (hide)?
|
What is an autobiography?
A car’s life story.
|
“Please hush,” said the librarian to some noisy children. “The people around you can’t read.”
“Really?” asked one little girl. “Then why are they here?”
|
Fred took a book from the library because the cover read “How to Hug.”
It turned out to be Volume VII of an encyclopedia.
|
Did you hear about the riot in the library?
No, what happened?
Someone found “dynamite” in the dictionary.
|
TEACHER: Will you two please stop passing notes!
PUPIL: We’re not passing notes. We’re playing cards.
|