Dr Jekyll – School Report

Dr Jekyll


To: Professor I.N. Stitches, Head of Medical School

Name of Pupil: JEKYLL (Dr, Trainee)

Age: 17

Jekyll has got what it takes to become a very successful doctor with pots of money.

He demonstrates a rattling good knowledge of the sort of pills what us chaps in the medical profession need to dish out by the bucketful so’s our patients think we know what’s wrong with them. Also his prescription writing is getting more and more unreadable every day. Good progress, indeed.

Even more encouragingly, Jekyll is starting to invent pills and potions of his own. This is excellent. Really rich patients will cough up (ha ha!) loadsamoney if you tell them they’re shovelling a designer medicine down their throats rather than the sort of jollop anybody can pick up from chain stores chemists such as wellington’s.

The thing Jekyll has got to be careful about is trying the stuff on himself. Experiments with the new mixtures must be carried out on real patients, the nearer death’s door the better that way you can’t be blamed if your stuff pops them off instead of getting them better.

As you know, I never recommend that students try their own potions. I mean, who knows what could happen? Certainly not us.

Q. Uack (Doctor)
Lecturer in Medicine