St.Nicholas’ Primary school
Name of Pupil: SCROOGE, Ebenezer
Dear Mr and Mrs Scrooge,
1 am afraid that little Ebenezer had something of an upset at school today and I thought it only proper that you should be told precisely what happened.
As is traditional on the last day of the term before Christmas, our infant class enacted the Nativity Story. Ebenezer was playing Joseph, and pretty Alice Cringeworm was Mary.
Now, all went well until Ebenezer approached the door of the Inn. That was when the trouble began
You see, the innkeeper was being played by that dirty ragamuffin Anchie Gobbs. I’d been doubtful of him in rehearsals and in the event, I was right. The wretched boy hadn’t learnt his lines. Thus, the dialogue went something like this:
Joseph (Ebenezer) : My wife, Mary, is with child. Have you got any room at your inn?
Innkeeper (Gobbs): No Buzz off.
Joseph: (Ebenezer): How about the stable? Could we use that?
Innkeeper (Gobbs): No You’ll frighten the oxen.
Joseph: (Ebenezer): Don’t you mean yes?
Innkeeper (Gobbs): No, I mean no! Sling yer hook Scroogie boy.
Joseph: (Ebenezer) You’ve got it all wrong…
Innkeeper (Gobbs): Oh yeah, take that!
And to my horror the dreadful boy punched poor tittle Ebenezer on the nose!
Not unnaturally, Ebenezer became quite upset at this point and ran off (stage right, if my memory serves me correctly) and locked himself in the boys’ toilets. Sobbing his little heart out for two hours, he was. By then it was all over. The play had finished, the Christmas party had ended (not a scrap of jelly left in sight of course, little pigs) and Father Christmas was about to leave for home. All he had left in has sack for Ebenezer was a bag of sweets. Humbugs, I believe.
Again, I can only express my sincere apologies for what happened. I do hope it doesn’t put Ebenezer off Christmas forever.