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Why do soccer players do well in school?
Because they use their heads.
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SON: Mom, we played baseball in school today and I stole second base.
MOTHER: Well, you march right over to school and put it back.
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SON: I went out for the football team, Dad.
FATHER: Did you make it?
SON: I think so. The coach looked at me and said, “This is the end.”
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TEACHER: The national sport in Spain is bullfighting and in England it’s cricket.
PUPIL: I’d rather play in England.
TEACHER: Why is that?
PUPIL: It’s easier to fight crickets.
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When do boxers start wearing gloves?
When it gets cold.
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I have a chance on the school soccer team.
I didn’t know they were raffling it off.
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You’d make a great football player.
Even your breath is offensive.
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You’re in such bad shape,
if you threw yourself on the floor you’d miss.
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Why is the school yard larger at recess?
Because there are more feet in it.
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You’re in such bad shape,
you better not try to lick an envelope.
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