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Where does the president keep his papers?
In his Cabinet.

Why are politicians always in such a hurry?
Because they have to run for office.

What was Alexander Graham Bell’s brother’s name?
Ding Dong Bell.

What famous American squashed apples?
Johnny Appleseed.

Did you know Lincoln’s assassin had a table in a diner named after him?
They call it the John Wilkes Booth.

TEACHER: How many men signed the Declaration of Independence?
PUPIL: Our four fathers (forefathers).