Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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Zebra
A horse that’s escaped from prison

Zermatt
What you wipe zer feet on

Zero
The 26th group of theatre seats. – Joseph Leff

Zinc
The place you wash the zaucepans

Zing
What you do with a zong.

Zipper
What you do with de doodah. – Joseph Leff

Zoo
A place where people go and animals are barred.

Zookeeper
A critter sitter.

Zoomed
A specialised veterinarian. – Joseph Leff

Zub
Noise made by a bee flying backwards

Zulu
A lav at a London menagerie. – Joseph Leff

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