Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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D – Pages 1234567

Dab Hand
Someone who is very good at finger painting

Dachshund
Half a dog high by a dog and a half long

Dad Watching Son Mow the Lawn:
He’s on chore patrol. – Joseph Leff

Daft
Covered in daffodils

Daily Double:
A clone-a-day. – Joseph Leff

Daily Grind:
Coffee. – Joseph Leff

Damages:
Happens to a reservoir over time. – Joseph Leff

Dandelion:
Daniel, king of the jungle. – Joseph Leff

Dandruff
(1) Chips off the old block.
(2) Mrs Druff’s husband

Dare:
Not here. – Joseph Leff

Daredevil:
Hey, Satan, nya nya nya. – Joseph Leff

Daring:
On da fiancee’s finger. – Joseph Leff

Dark Ages
(1) A time when there were lots of knights
(2) From 2000 hours to 0530 hours daily. – Joseph Leff

Darken:
Whar Kenneth? – Joseph Leff

Darn It!:
Sew what? – Joseph Leff

Dashed:
Where da tools are. – Joseph Leff

Data
What a baby computer calls its father.

Datum
What young men like to do with pretty young women. – Joseph Leff

Day of Music:
Doris. – Joseph Leff

Day of Rest:
24 hours of pulling and twisting. – Joseph Leff

Daylight on a Russian Plain:
Steppe sun. – Joseph Leff

Dead Giveaway
A cancelled quiz show.

Dead in Bangkok:
Thai-died. – Joseph Leff

Dead Ringer
(1) A corpse leaning against a doorbell.
(2) A deceased Avon lady.
(3) A broken alarm clock.

Dead Tired:
(1) An overworked mortician.
(2) A hearse’s wheels. – Joseph Leff

Deadline
Fence around a graveyard

Deadpan:
A deceased Greek god. – Joseph Leff

Death Rate:
A mortician’s fees. – Joseph Leff

Death:
You can live without it. – Joseph Leff

Debase:
Add acid. – Joseph Leff

Debate
What lures the fish.

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D – Pages 1234567