Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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M – Pages 123456 7

Macaroni
The inventor of the wireless who used his noodle and pasta message through spaghetti

Macaroon
A famous Scots biscuit

Made Up:
The housekeeper is awake. – Joseph Leff

Magi:
G.I. Joe’s mother. – Joseph Leff

Magic Eye
What teachers have in the back of their heads

Magic Spell:
M-A-G-I-C. – Joseph Leff

Magpie
A pudding made with old magazines

Mahatma Gandhi:
Born to be mild. – Joseph Leff

Maid:
Mum’s identification. – Joseph Leff

Maintenance:
Primary renters. – Joseph Leff

Make Off:
Opposite of may not cough. – Joseph Leff

Make Plain:
What Boeing and Airbus do. – Joseph Leff

Make Sense:
What skunks do. – Joseph Leff

Make-Up Man:
Liar. – Joseph Leff

Mal de Mer:
A sick female horse. – Joseph Leff

Malady
A duchess

Malaise:
Where Kuala Lumpur is located. – Joseph Leff

Malaria:
Space in a shopping center. – Joseph Leff

Malediction:
Men’s speech patterns. – Joseph Leff

Malice:
(1) Mother of insects.  
(2) In winter, what can appear in a shopping center parking lot. – Joseph Leff

Malignance:
Defame Mum’s sisters. – Joseph Leff

Malingers:
Mum just won’t leave. – Joseph Leff

Mammal
Something that is neither fish nor fowl.

Mammoth:
Mother of a flying insect. – Joseph Leff

Man of Iron:
A caddy. – Joseph Leff

Man of Means:
(1) A lexicographer.  
(2) An average statistician. – Joseph Leff

Man of Straw:
To whom you say, “Hello, fodder.” – Joseph Leff

Man
The only animal that goes to sleep when it is not sleepy and gets up when it is.

Manage:
How old he is. – Joseph Leff

Mandate:
An appointment with a male. – Joseph Leff

Manicures:
Several remedies. – Joseph Leff

Mankind:
Good Samaritan. – Joseph Leff

Manna From Heaven:
The presents of God. – Joseph Leff

Manners:
Homes for the wealthy. – Joseph Leff

March 4th:
A military command. – Joseph Leff

March Past:
It’s April now. – Joseph Leff

March With:
How wide the parade route is. – Joseph Leff

Marching Band:
Walking in tempo is prohibited. – Joseph Leff

Margin
Mummy’s favourite tonic

Marine Biology:
The study of undersea shopping. – Joseph Leff

Maritime:
I do. – Joseph Leff

Mark of Cain:
Indication of being hit with a wooden stick. – Joseph Leff

Marriage:
(1) A wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? – Groucho Marx  
(2) Not just a word; it’s a sentence.  
(3) When a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s. – Joseph Leff

Marxist:
A believer in Groucho. – Joseph Leff

Mascot:
Where Mum sleeps in the hunting lodge. – Joseph Leff

Masher:
A colleague of Hawkeye Pierce. – Joseph Leff

Mass Communications:
Amens. – Joseph Leff

Masseurs Who Win Bets:
People who knead people are the luckiest people in the world. – Joseph Leff

Masseurs:
People who knead people. – Joseph Leff

Master Craftsman:
Expert sailor. – Joseph Leff

Master:
Installer of sail poles. – Joseph Leff

Matador:
Where the rug is. – Joseph Leff

Matadors:
Mathew reveres. – Joseph Leff

Materialization:
Weaving. – Joseph Leff

Math Test:
Lots of problems. – Joseph Leff

Mathematician:
A sum worshipper. – Joseph Leff

Maximum:
A large British mother.Mayfly:
A Kitty Hawk slogan. – Joseph Leff

Mayhem:
Indecision as to spring skirt length. – Joseph Leff

Mayor
A female horse.

Maze:
Belonging to Ms. West. – Joseph Leff

Meal:
I’m Alvin. – Joseph Leff

Meander:
She and I. – Joseph Leff

Meantime
(1) Nasty watch.
(2) Hate o’clock.

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R
S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

M – Pages 123456 7