Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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F – Pages 1234567

Fabrication Expert
Liar. – Joseph Leff

Face Lift
An elevator that takes only part of you up.

Face the Music:
Why an orchestra conductor turns his back to the audience. – Joseph Leff

Face Value:
Why a plastic surgeon charges fees. – Joseph Leff

Factory
A set of encyclopaedias

Fad:
In one era and out the other. – Joseph Leff

Fail Safe
Safe with a broken lock

Failure
A person who generally takes the path of least persistence.

Faint Sound:
A soft moan while collapsing. – Joseph Leff

Fairgrounds:
Mediocre coffee. – Joseph Leff

Fair-Minded:
Somebody who thinks only about carnivals. – Joseph Leff

Fake Threat:
Brute farce. – Joseph Leff

Fall in Love:
Precedes a winter wedding. – Joseph Leff

Fall Through:
When winter begins. – Joseph Leff

Falling Star:
A celebrity who’s really drunk. – Joseph Leff

Fallow:
To trip and cry out in pain. – Joseph Leff

False Teeth
(1) Like the stars, they come out at night.
(2) Many a true word is spoken through false teeth.

Family Feud:
Split heirs. – Joseph Leff

Family Tree
(1) Place where ghouls bury each other for a laugh
(2) A bred line. – Joseph Leff

Fan Belt
(1) What a football supporter uses to keep his trousers up
(2) Starts a fight at a soccer match. – Joseph Leff

Fan Club:
Used by a celebrity to beat off devotees. – Joseph Leff

Fanfare:
The cost of a stadium ticket. – Joseph Leff

Farmer
(1) A person outstanding in his field.
(2) Someone who works from daybreak to backbreak.

Farthing:
A distant item. – Joseph Leff

Farthingale
A cheap hurricane

Fashion Show:
A frocks trot. – Joseph Leff

Fast Day:
A slow day. – Joseph Leff

Fast Foods:
Eaten during Lent. – Joseph Leff

Fastidious
Someone who is quick and ugly

 

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F – Pages 1234567