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Funny definitions - the real meanings of words

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E - Pages 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

Ether:
One or the other. - Joseph Leff

Eulogy
(1) Study of the 25th letter.
(2) Study of thou.
(3) Study of a female lamb. - Joseph Leff

Euro:
(1) 21st tier of seats.  
(2) Your turn at the oars. - Joseph Leff

Eurythmics:
Music that belongs to you. - Joseph Leff

Evade:
Assist Adam's wife. - Joseph Leff

Evaluate:
Wow, Valerie, you've eaten. - Joseph Leff

Evaporated milk
The kind of milk preferred by the invisible man.

Evaporated
Dried water - just add liquid

Eve
What you shout at the start of a tug-o-war

Ewe:
A wife-bleater. - Joseph Leff

Exact
What eggs do on stage

Exact:
A retired thespian. - Joseph Leff

Exalted:
Removed all sodium chloride. - Joseph Leff

Exam Subjects at a School of Optometry:
Pupils. - Joseph Leff

Excel:
(1) Abbrev. for Extra Large.  
(2) Roman number 40.  
(3) A freed prisoner. - Joseph Leff

Excess fat
Not the result of the minutes you put in at the dinner table, but the seconds.

Excite:
Blind. - Joseph Leff

Exclamation of Delight for Hawaiian Food:
Oh, poi! - Joseph Leff

Excuse:
(1) An out-of-work stage director.  
(2) A retired snooker player.  
(3) No more waiting lines. - Joseph Leff

Exercise
The only exercise some people get is to:
(1) run up bills;
(2) wrestle with their conscience;
(3) jump to conclusions;
(4) stretch the truth;
(5) run out of excuses.

Exit:
Cross it out. - Joseph Leff

Expelled:
A retired witch. - Joseph Leff

Expending:
Someone who is now saving. - Joseph Leff

Experience
(1) What you have left after you have lost everything else.
(2) The wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake after you have made it.
(3) What people call their mistakes

Experiment
What scientists did 100 years ago and you are still doing in school

Expert at Forging:
A smith. - Joseph Leff

Expert
(1) Someone who used to be a Pert
(2) An expert is a person who skillfully avoids the small errors only to sweep on to the really big ones.

Explosion
Result of experiment

Explosive Letters:
TNT. - Joseph Leff

Explosive-Sniffing Dog:
The scenter of attention. - Joseph Leff

 

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